Open Letter to the People Who Feed My Dogs People Food

Dear Everyone that steps foot in my house and has access to food of any kind,

If I've said it once, I've said it a bazillion times, PLEASE DO NOT FEED MY DOGS PEOPLE FOOD. For those of you who may be ignoring me challenged, let me break it down for you in simple English...

PLEASE - I am being polite and asking nicely, even though I want to scream at you at the top of my lungs

DO NOT - No. Wrong move, Buster. Frowny face. Red circle with a line through it. No (that's the Spanish version). Uh-uh. Anti-yes. Unacceptable. Opposite of approved. Declined. No way, Jose.

FEED - To provide something that is to be ingested, placed in the mouth, or otherwise removed from your hand, your plate or the floor near your feet

MY - Mine. Not yours. I pay the vet bills = I make the decisions

DOGS - 4 legged creatures who will eat everything you give them, including chocolate, despite the fact that I always remind you that chocolate is toxic to dogs; animals that live in our house

PEOPLE - 2 legged creatures that are supposed to use reason when making decisions, and common courtesy; 5 adults that live in my house, only 2 of which pay any attention to my requests

FOOD - Anything that is supposed to be served on a plate or in a bowl; items that are worthy of salt & pepper or sugar/honey; items that are purchased in a grocery store, minus the dog food isle and general household items such as light bulbs, shampoo and motor oil

Why? Let me plead my case.

1. The stomachs of dogs are sensitive. Just watch Animal Planet, they'll back me up.
2. I buy a high-quality dog food so it has all the nutrients they need.
3. None of the 3 dogs can be diagnosed with and degree of emaciation.
4. Looking at you does not mean, "I want a piece of that."
5. Hard food helps to keep their teeth clean. Chicken, beef and an occasional ham sammy does not apply. Or chips. Or donuts. Or a hot dog that falls on the floor.
6. Feeding the dogs from your hand teaches the dogs that it's OK to take food from your hand... and then they do it when they are not invited to do so. That includes the elderly and children, who do not need to suffer a dog bite, even if it is not done in anger or fear.
7. I told you that it was important to me, and because I have mentioned it a bazillion times I would expect that you could see that this is important to me. Blatantly going against this request is just plain disrespectful.
8. Last but not least, variances is diet change the poop consistency and makes it hard to clean up the yard. 3 dogs, two+ movements a day... do the math.

So, please, do not feed my dogs people food. If you are going to do it, please do it behind my back and not in clear view. If you do it in clear view, do not then look at me to see if I saw you - I did. I always do. And if you do it, do not expect me to sit there quietly with a smile on my face.

Thank you for your consideration.