We Need to Pay Closer Attention

If you are reading this blog you probably know me. If you don’t know me personally, then you probably THINK you know me. To both groups of readers I ask this question, “Am I totally tuned out?”

Each week, my husband and I go out for dinner. Our “date night.” We normally go to our favorite restaurant, Prime Only. We love this place, and have been going for so long that we feel like we are at home there. The staff is great – funny, caring, smart… but sometimes slow on the take. Let me explain.

Last Friday, we called the cab and headed off to have a drink (or 7) and some dinner. We took our usual seats at the end of the bar and settled in for a good evening. The upstairs Martini bar eventually filled and we found ourselves sitting next to another couple. He was ok-looking and she had on a tight top and had fake boobs. OK, whatever. The conversation was light at first, and then we learned that they were second home owners, and usually came to the beach every other week. We talked about our favorite places, we shared the information about the Lowe’s that is trying to move in across the street from our house. The gentleman was an attorney, so he had some of his own thoughts.

I wasn’t feeling 100% so I had 2 beers and was done. Everyone else kept drinking at the usual “I live here but am on vacation mode” pace. Before you knew it, our new “friends” were drunk.

“Oh! We have 3 grown daughters, but they NEVER come to the beach.”

“Well! If we are in town, you’ll see the flags flying. 4 flags. 2 in the front, 2 in the back.”

“Oh! We are here every two weeks. You should come over for drinks.”

Yadda yadda yadda. This went on for some time.

When they finally shoved off, after a business card exchange, we looked at each other and said, “Wow. That was a little weird, but they seemed nice.”

Then, Jennifer comes over. (Jenn is our BFF bartender). “Uh, you know they are swingers, right?!”

NO! NO WAY! NUH UH! WHAT????

She said, “I was trying to figure our how to tell you! I was going to text you (‘cause you know, you need your favorite bartender’s personal cell phone number so she can save you your favorite seats) but you keep your phone in your purse!” UGH!!

I didn’t believe it. I didn’t get a sense of flirting (but she did have that crazy-tight top on). I didn’t feel like we were being interviewed (but while I was in the bathroom they apparently needed to know how old we were.) No! This cannot be! I didn’t see it!

Then Kevin came upstairs. Kevin owns Prime Only and knows lots of people. I said, “Hey, Kev. Your two friends were here…” and he says, “Uh oh, did they mention the flags? They are swingers, you know” WHAT? NO WAY! NUH UH! WTF?

Then they proceed to tell us that there’s ANOTHER couple that we are friendly with at the bar, that are also into sharing their spouses! And we know them really well!! (or maybe we DON’T!)

Anyway, we laughed and laughed. Jenn swears that she wouldn’t have let us leave without telling us first. WHATEVER JENN!! Now we have a code – if there’s a couple that’s hitting on us, she is going to serve me a blue shot. That’s my cue to slam the drink and throw myself down the stairs to escape the madness for good.

It’s come to this? What the hell.