Loading the Dishwasher Makes me NUTS

There are few things that I obsess over. I think. Feel free to correct me. The number one, major irritant, is that I have yet to meet any one that loads the dishwasher properly. When I open the door, and I see that something is out of place, I actually have to stop and fix it. I don't care if it has gross stuff hanging off of it - I have to put it in it's place. Not MY dishwasher? Oh, I don't care about that. I'll rearrange YOUR dishwasher, too. And while I am doing it, I will be huff and puff and think bad thoughts about you.

For those of you that don't know what I learned in Cooking Class, here are the guidelines. (Damn you, Ms. McLaughlin from the 7th grade! YOU DID THIS TO ME!)

Step One: Scrape off big chunks of food before you put dishes in the dishwasher, but don't worry about rinsing them off. Most washers are designed to handle food particles. (Don't expect the dishwasher to remove burnt-on foods, old milk, or stuck-on scrambled eggs. I won't happen. Not ever.)

Step Two: Put cookie sheets and large platters along the sides so they don't prevent the water from reaching the other dishes. This goes for the spouty-thing-a-ma-gig in the center of the bottom floor of the washer. If you cover that up, you are doomed to re-run the cycle and waste water.

Step Three: The top rack is for plastic items, glasses, mugs, and small bowls. If you line the small bowls next to each other, on an incline and skipping a prong, you can fit in many more bowls! Larger serving utensils can be laid horizontally across the top section of the dishwasher. Plates, cutting boards and pots go on the bottom, facing the sprayer thingy.

Step Four: Be sure that glassware is put on the prongs. Loose glasses might break and make a dangerous mess.

Step Five: Set silverware HANDLES DOWN, except for knives, which should be handles up in the silverware basket. I ALWAYS put knives with knives, spoons with spoons, forks with forks... this way, when you unload you can grab the bunch and dump them in the drawer with their friends. SUCH a time saver! People think this is risky, thinking that the spoons will "nest" and not get clean. No worries - the force of the sprayer moves them all around. I swear.

Well, that's my venting for tonight. I feel better. :-)