Ciocia Colleen

When my first niece was born, I was looking forward to being an Aunt. Aunt Colleen. It’s what all my friends’ kids call me, so it was already a pretty good thing.

Someone, maybe my mom (look for a comment to this post, I’m sure she’ll set me straight) or my brother, suggested that the baby call me Ciocia.

Ciocia (cha-cha) is how you say “Aunt” in Polish. Or, at least that’s the way my family says it. Growing-up, I called my Aunt Violet “Ciocia Vi.”  I loved her dearly. Now I am Ciocia Colleen.

ANYWAY, now that the lesson is over…

A few months ago, I was talking to my crazy sister-in-law (that does not read this blog so I feel safe in letting you know that I think she is off her rocker) and she mentioned that she was sad that her girls didn’t really “know” me. Uh, first of all, ouch. Second of all, shut-up. Third of all, you are crazy for even saying that out loud… want more? I’ve got more…

She suggested that, at some point, her children come to visit me in North Carolina for summer vacation so we could spend some time together. I was all for that, until she said, “starting this summer.” I knew that it was going to be a lot of work, so I asked my 15.5 year old cousin, Ketti, to come along to help. After all, Chip and I are usually on top of things, but our house isn’t exactly child-proof, and, well, I wanted extra eyes on them.

Here’s a picture of my nieces. Jordan is 5. Devynn is 2. Harmless, right?

Overall, we had a really great visit with the three of them! We played in the pool, went to the beach twice, watched some brain-rotting cartoons, woke-up too early every single day, played with the dogs, ate mostly fruit, and laughed a WHOLE lot.

Let me get to the story that the pictures don’t tell… I like not being a mom. WAIT! Before you get all “that’s a crazy thing to say” I need to tell ya, it’s OK. I’m sure, if I had the circumstance to have children, I would feel quite differently. I LOVE my nieces. I LOVE my friend’s children like they are my family. But I’m really OK with the the fact that Chip and I can do what we want, when we want. I can sleep late. Eat crap. Skip a bath. If I am sick I can stay in bed all day. Whatever I want. Having to be responsible for another life… for developing morals and manners and ideas… safety… working through REAL fear… oh, lordy, it’s all encompassing and exhausting.

What I learned, and didn’t expect to, was that I really regret the fact that Chip didn’t get the chance to be a father. True, we started dating later than most, and we dated a REALLY long time (12 years). We talked about it a few years ago and decided that it just wasn’t the right choice for us. I think we decided. I know I decided…

But all of that doesn’t negate the fact that he is good at parenting. He is REALLY good. He had lots of practice because he played a bigger-than-normal part in raising his niece and nephew, but he has a knack for it. He’s attentive without being overprotective. He’s silly, and yet manages to be stern. He’s patient and willing to teach without being bossy. In the past I have jokingly called him the “baby whisperer,” but he really does have a way with children. Watching him with my very young nieces, and horsing around with my cousin, was eye-opening. It made me love him even more, and I didn’t think that was possible.

While driving then back to MD, he sang Little Bunny Foo-Foo a hundred times and giggled along with the kids. He changed the words and let them correct him, and then messed them up again and again. It was so much fun I almost started to cry.

 

On the way back to NC we discussed, at length, my family  dynamics. He wanted to know who was in Ketti’s life, her challenges, and her gifts. He’s interested in knowing what we could do to help support & be available to her. (I’ll tell you what we can do… buy her a frumpy shirt! I mean REALLY!)

 

He really took to all of them and cared about what was happening. He didn’t complain one time – NOT ONCE. He wants to follow-up and make sure that they are alright, and cared for, and happy, and growing.

How lucky I am. Really and truly.